I can't understand my transformation. I was so passionate about this woman, so in love. Today, I am totally indifferent. She is still the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last before I drift off to sleep, but I just don't have the passion today.

This last week I have been pretty sick. I don't have insurance so I have to tough it out, and hope I get better. Last Saturday I was really scared so I called my ex and asked her to bring me some soup. She did, and continued to call me daily to see how I was doing. I had spent almost an entire week on the verge of passing out and hyperventilating coupled with severe headaches.

The sad thing is that my ex has a gaming friend that is a medical doctor. She never once offered to call her friend, and asked him if he would help me. This woman that I was so passionate about, the one I gave my heart and soul to, that I wanted to marry and spent the rest of my life with doesn't care about my well being. She would rather risk having me die then introduce her friend to me. How sad is that? Today, she recommended that I go to the county free clinic. How sad is that?

I am shocked at the cold, self-centered monster that she has become. Today, I was hit by a van on my way to the hairdresser. The driver gave me erroneous information, so I contacted my ex's aunt who works in Fraud. I contacted my ex and told her I called her aunt. She has a tendency to go ballistic when I contact her family so I wanted to give her a 'heads-up'. She didn't even ask if I was injured.

It's a good thing our relationship has fallen apart. I was ready to give this woman everything......... put her on the deed, help pay for her schooling. I am so grateful that she doesn't want to be with me anymore.