I am heading home for a visit Thursday, and will be gone for a while. My family is having a reunion. I can't remember the last time we all got together, but it has been a long, long time. There will be cousins from California, Aunts and Uncles from Florida, and many more relatives from the Midwest.
I started stirring the pot earlier this year to have this reunion. I believe I started some time in February. It started with my brother, then an uncle, then a cousin or two. We were going to host it in a park, but my uncle insisted on having it at his house.
Last week, I answered a call from one of my cousins. Her husband was at work and started talking about the reunion to several of his coworkers. One coworker soon recognized that she was familiar with some of the descriptions and started naming specific names. My name soon surfaced, and she asked my cousin to contact me.
At first I thought it was kind of funny. One of my childhood friends happens to work with one of my cousin-in-laws (a cousin-in-law that I have never met!). This old friend wanted to get together and catch up on the decades that have passed. At first, I was excited to get together, but as time went on I began to dread meeting her one on one.
As I discussed this dread with an AA friend it became clear that I still have some amends to make. This was a friend that I started drinking and using drugs with long ago. In early sobriety I did make amends to her, but there are still some memories that give me a sense of dread. I need to clean up this particular "wreckage of my past" and heal this relationship. I have reached the point where I am willing, and even looking forward to making these amends.
See you all soon.......