It's a good thing that my ex is in Boston. It has given me the time to unscramble myself, and get my feet back on the ground. I spent too much time trying to fix our relationship, and she just waiting for the next one to start. I can see that now.

I really shouldn't be shocked, after all, she started with me before she ended her last relationship. Somehow in my twisted mind I thought I was special; this relationship was special. I truly believed we would stay together forever. In reality, my love for her was special. She enabled me to love deeper than I have ever loved before. I was finally willing to be truly committed.

So, as she got more and more into men, I became more insecure. She refused to stop what she was doing and I was incapable of feeling confident about our relationship. The more I tried to be the person she could love, the worse she would treat me. I refuse to see what was happening because I cherished the good things between us.

Through all the turmoil that was created I was still able to keep my heart open to her. I was exhausted and beaten to a pulp, but I still believed we could make the relationship work.

I have been consciously closing my heart to her, and setting her free. This, as you know, has been a difficult task, but each day it I am getting better at it. She has shown me how important a partnership has become for me. I am slowly becoming grateful for my time with her. For me that is progress.