Friday, June 16, 2006

I went to see my acupuncturist today for a treatment. I have been seeing this doctor since 1987, and I believe she can heal anything. When I was laying face down on the table, relaxing for her to insert the needles, she started telling me that my ex was bring a family member in to see her. I asked if it was her mother and she said it was Scott.

Every muscle in my neck and back tensed up. Scott is her new boyfriend. NVF is half Chinese, refuses to do herbs, is afraid of needles but she wants her new boyfriend to see my doctor. I completely failed at "taking the high road", and told her that NVF is a liar, cheat, and I couldn't hold it in, a whore. Needless to say, my treatment was a total bust.

I spent the rest of the day discussing, with the committee between my ears, and a good friend, how I was going to publicly respond. All the options I came up with would make me look like a total fool, but I would feel better. In the end, I decided to do nothing, and not interfere with her choices.

I am looking forward to the day when she goes off to school, and leaves town. Even though I haven't seen this woman in over a month, I keep bumping into her presence. I am in a hurry to get her buried into my past so that I can get on with exploring life.

10 Comments:

At 3:38 PM, Blogger dAAve said...

I would hazard to guess that you haven't brought closure to this relationship yet. It will continue to haunt you until you do. And she probably doesn't give you a second thought.
Don't torture yourself.

 
At 6:25 AM, Blogger Mary Christine said...

You aren't done until you are done. One tiny little hint? try not to feed it. It's hard, but it works.

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger Sober @ Sundown said...

Thanks for stopping by and supporting me. I am aware this is a pretty rabid post..... any normal human would probably delete it, but I could never claim to be normal. It doesn't look like it, but I am healing from this relationship a little bit at a time. I am focusing on making myself and my life healthier, and every once in a while I regress, and get caught in the vortex of my anger.

 
At 7:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Admitting you never claimed to be normal is the first step in recovery...LOL..jk!

Yeah,this post sounded a little
ffsst,psst,meowwww but your anger
is understandable,you are going through the motions I guess.
No matter how hard ya try to speed the so called grieving process after an emotional break up like that you are probably going to have to be a little more patient with yourself and the process.
Just an observation:)
In the meantime,,,,
how is that kitchen?!

 
At 12:52 AM, Blogger Alcoholic Brain said...

You have drive, passion, and you live life. I admire your taking a risk at love. There are those who don't. Give yourself a pat on the back for being a human that is capable of these things. Put your resentments on paper...Focus on recovery one day at a time. You will do well...

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger Gooey Munster said...

Set yourself free. You bare so much from this relationship. Letting it go little by little will allow you to become lighter within. Soon, you will be able to fly, free from this.

I think your wings are starting to flutter . . .

:)

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Sober @ Sundown said...

I know it doesn't seem like it, but I am slowly getting over my anger with this relationship, both towards myself, and towards NVF. I look forward to the day when I can fly free from this experience.

The kitchen is on hold. Right now, I am going through plan check for the permit process......

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger A Bear in the Woods said...

The committee between your ears! I bet it was a pretty raucous meeting, too. Being rabid every now and then is ok, just please don't actually kill her. Then the situation gets really messy.

 
At 7:49 AM, Blogger Tiffanie said...

Gotta love that "committee" - I think I know what youre talking about there.

It sounds like she still has some power in your life. It's hard to let go, isn't it?

I am going through the same thing.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger Sober @ Sundown said...

Yes, Daniel, it was a pretty intense meeting. Too bad she wasn't there, she would have heard some new comments about her. I promise I won't kill her. She is slowly losing power over me, and I am beginning to believe that I will love again. I just hope it doesn't take too long for this new woman to arrive.

I went to my doctor again today, and we casual and calmly discussed Scott and NVF. I was hoping that my doctor would know when she is leaving town. Unfortunately, she doesn't know.

Letting go is hard, Tiffanie. All I can do is take it one day at a time, and try a little harder each new day. It is starting to work!

 

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