Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. She has been gone for 9 years now. It seems like yesterday. I can't say it's getting easier dealing with her departure, but I am surviving. My brother was such a dork that he would never remember her on her birthday, or Mother's Day. There were many times he was totally thoughtless on Christmas. It hurt her a great deal, so I tried to make those days extra special for her. I would buy her lots of presents and wrap them individually so she had lots of gifts to open. In turn, she would do the same for me.
To celebrate her birthday these days, I buy myself a special gift. This year I bought hummingbird feeders. I splurged and bought five of them. Two were very expensive hand blown glass feeders with fancy hooks. They were just beautiful, but they dripped sugar water all over the deck. I spent the afternoon puttering with hanging them in the best locations so I can enjoy the humming birds whether I am outside, or in. I'm not quite sure how to advertise to get visitors.....
In sobriety, I try to substitute healthy behaviors for unhealthy ones, or loving gestures to get me through tremendous loss. What changes have you made to make your passage through hard times easier?
posted by Sober @ Sundown @ 4:24 PM
11 comments
11 Comments:
I love hummingbirds they are so sweet. To advertise your blog just start posting on other peoples blogs and link people.
I discovered that I need to slow down. It's been tough lately and it took a surgery for me to actually slow down and filter everything. Now, I'm finding that taking care of myself is the most important thing.
When I have loved ones gone, I plant their favorite flowers. My grandmother passed three years ago and the lavender I planted shortly after her death still reminds me of her.
You sound like you have grown alot through your passages ..nice.
This is what I am working on for my long weekend Sober@Sundown.
This week marks the 3rd year my Mom has been gone..I miss her very much.
I am looking for serenity.
Nice post,can you buy me something special too? Kidding.
Thank you for sharing~
I haven't had any really difficult times since getting sober, but prayer is something entirely new to me.
I think you are right-on by giving yourself a gift in memory of your Mom. Very good.
OMG~ mine did that too. I bought two hummingbird feeders that were made out of colored glass with wire wrapped and more colored glass. They dripped all over the back porch. Maybe I will move them next year and put them in a tree. Hmmm~ Now I am babbling again ;)
G~
PS ~ I think that is a nice way to celebrate and remember your mother.
Ah hummingbirds we don't get very many up hear. I love to watch them when I go visit AZ(mother in law)
I think that my affinity for houseplants is in homage to my maternal grand-mother. She had a spider plant that I took with me when the aunts were clearing out her apartment after she passed. The spider plant thrived for years until the ex hurt it..I haven't been able to get another, yet. I maintain several others (not ferns) thinking of her always when I water.
My brothers too, are very poor about commemorating our mother's special days.
The hummingbird feeders are a wonderful and beautiful way to honor your mom.
Hi Luv,
I think that is so wonderful that you celebrate as you do. You are taking a moment to remember someone so special, someone who brought you here, you mom. This is very healing for you, care and nurture yourself as you deserve to be.
I lost my mom too. It hurts. I just handle it better these days. Love is the way to go. I like your post. I see growth.
What a beautiful way to remember your mother...by honoring yourself.
As I mother, I am sure she would have really enjoyed this tribute you are giving to her.
I lost my mother a little over 7 years ago during which I have suffered much grieving. I lost her to breast cancer so the last two years I have participated in the
3-day walk in my city.
Her birthday is hard to forget as it was on Valentines Day. Every year I swear I am going to plant some magnolia trees for her on her birthday and this year I am bound and determined I'm going to -even now after reading your post.
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