I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and that it was everything you had hoped for. On Tuesday I canceled all my holiday invites and on Thanksgiving Day I drove to the desert for a long hike. The sun was hot , and the breeze was cool. I love it when I am warmed by the sun, and cooled by the air.

For whatever reason, I found myself not looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I just didn't want to socialize, or hang out with anyone. As the holiday approached, I was filled with more and more dread. Once I picked up the phone, and canceled my invites, I was extremely relieved.

I had some things that I needed to sort out, and think through, and the silence of the desert sets the stage for me to do that. There are no telephones, TV's, computers, or poodles out there so there is little distraction from my thoughts.

One of the things I needed to resolve was a friendship I made a few months ago. It was with a woman who is in the program, and has about five years sobriety. She actually has fifteen years program, but used five years ago. We spent a lot of time talking on the phone, and when Paalm Spriings Pride came along we all decided to hang out there. She was getting to know another friend of mine, and were in the process of "hooking up". To keep things completely anonymous I will call the new friend Jane, and the other friend Mary.

Prior to heading out the Pride festival, Jane made it clear when she was going to spend time with me, and when she was going to spend time alone with Mary. She set her boundaries, and I didn't really think too much of it. The person I was going with bailed on me at the last minute so I went alone. At the festival I asked them if they wanted to do dinner that night, and I suggested Peruvian food. Jane promptly said that they were having sushi that night, and she would call me when they got back to the hotel. What was a ten minute drive for me (we stayed at the same hotel) took them about forty five minutes. When she called she told me that it would take them an hour and one half to get ready for dinner. After an hour I called to see how they were doing, and Jane said they weren't even close to being ready. I said, "No problem. I am going out to eat."

I had a wonderful Thai dinner, and people watched without interruption. Later on that evening around ten o'clock, Jane called and told me there were done eating and asked if I wanted to follow them in my own vehicle to the gay bar for some dancing. I was quite tired of her behavior by this time so I told her that I would be staying in for the evening.

One more piece of information that you all need to have - Jane lived in Paalm Spriings before and knew her way around town quite well. So, when I mentioned that I didn't know where the bar was her suggestion for me was to call the bar for directions. Earlier that day when I arrived in town I asked her where the festival was and she told me to ask the hotel clerk.

After Paalm Spriings I stopped taking Jane's phone calls, and told my other two friends that I was not happy with the way she treated me, and I didn't want to talk to her. After about two weeks I thought I should at least tell her why I wasn't talking to her. I contacted her, and we discussed our differences. She said she set her boundaries and was quite clear in telling me what they were, and that she was not responsible for me. She also mentioned that my expectations of my friends were too high.

This is so contrary to how I view my friendships. For me, once I have established a friendship I make myself available to that friend 24/7. My phone is always on and I answer it when it rings. If a friend needs help, I rearrange my schedule. If they call at an inconvenient time, I stop and talk to them. This is what I offer for friendship, and in return I expect to be treated well.

So the moral of this long story is: I don't have to have people in my life that don't treat me well. I am willing to accept Jane's boundaries, but in return I insist she respect mine. My boundary is that I don't want her friendship. My life is very full, and I get to choose who I will spend time with. These days I get to choose who I call 'Friend'. How do you define Friendship?

I have been dancing with a particular woman for several months. I love to dance with her, and we dance really well together. It is definitely 'Poetry in Motion'. The problem is that she drinks. We tried dating, and a few other things.... but the drinking was always in between us. Last night she was giving all her attention to another woman from out of town.

I hate being ignored, and this woman that I love to dance with, was acting like I wasn't in the room. What can I say, I am a alcoholic that has to deal with my feelings without the aid of mind altering chemicals, and after all this time, I still don't do it well. I just can't hide what I am feeling weather it is a good feeling, or one of those not so good feelings.

So, everyone I talked to asked, "What's the matter?" I told a close friend that everyone kept asking what was wrong with me. I was really okay with the situation, and I had plenty of dancing partners for the evening. He leaned over, and whispered in my ear, "Just tell them that you are constipated."

The smile hasn't left my face since he uttered those words. I am so fortunate to have good friends who understand the value of simple solutions.

By the grace of a higher power, a whole fellowship of human beings, some extremely tolerant friends, and a sprinkle of stubbornness, I have managed to stay clean and sober for 24 years. It is impossible for me to express the depth of my gratitude for the gift of sobriety.

Thank you Higher Power, Spirit Guides, members of Alcoholics Anonymous, dear friends, and bloggers for helping me stay on the path of sobriety.

I went to Palm Springs Pride this past weekend. I was suppose to go with three other women, but after a boatload of lesbian drama, I ended up going by myself, and hanging out with myself all weekend. Normally, I wouldn't venture out alone to an event out of town, however, by the end of a dramatic week I was functioning in "Fuck It" mode, and ready to manufacture some fun.

I had a blast. The people of Palm Springs were very kind, and generous with me. I left my house with directions from Yahoo to get to Palm Springs. After I arrived, I had to rely on the generosity of strangers to get to the events. At one point I was so lost that I stopped at a gas station, and asked the attendant where the Pride festival was. She said, "Hon, go through the next two lights then make a right, and find a place to park."

The next day before the parade, I was trying to buy a bottle of water. I went into several establishments, and asked the women hanging out if the place sold bottled water. A number of women offered up their water without a hesitation. I couldn't help thinking, "Oh, I like this town......." Once I bought some water, I went looking for the perfect piece of 6" concrete real estate. A straight woman offered me her husband's chair so that I could sit in comfort and watch the parade. How cool is that?

The highlight of the weekend had to be two-stepping with Bella daBall. She was very tall gal with big pink hair, colorful shades, pink mini skirt, and yellow heals. That girl could dance! She was well over seven feet with her hair, and would spin me like I was a feather.

It is just amazing how well my life works when I stay out of the way. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend.