I haven't posted in quite some time. Sorry. Life can overwhelming at times.
I went to a funeral last week. My friend's life, or the end of it was celebrated on his birthday, April 2nd. To keep my story anonymous, I will call him Derrick, his lover, Thomas. I met Thomas through me ex, and he soon hooked up with Derrick. I have known them for about three years. Everyone liked Derrick. He was a super nice guy, and lit up any room he walked into.
Derrick developed melanoma last year, and had surgery and chemo to combat the cancer. He was cleared of the cancer last summer. In January of this year, the cancer returned and lodged in his brain. It was called stage four melanoma, and he was classified as terminal. Thomas took care of him till the very end, well until Derrick's family threw him out of the house.
Several weeks before Derrick passed his mother, father and two sisters moved into his 2 bedroom house to stay with him till the end. I don't quite know what happened but Thomas was asked to leave. He started staying with friends, and found an apartment in short order. He was allowed to visit Derrick once a day. On the day of Derrick's passing the phone call came too late, and Thomas didn't make it in time to be with his lover during his last moments of life.
At the Catholicc funeral nothing was mentioned of his life as a gay man, or his contributions to the community, or his friends. The priest spoke of his ascension into heaven, and other stuff that was not connected to Derrick's own personal life. It was all I could do to not stand up and ask the priest, "Did you know Derrick was a gay man? Did you know how well he treated his gay friends?" I spent most of my time at the funeral holding back tears, and getting angry at the disconnect between the service and my friend. What really crowned my anger was that the family was in the front row, and my friend Thomas was delegated to the second row.
This experience was a wake up call for me. I tend to get complacent and believe that we won't be treated this way these days. Gay rights have come a long way in a short amount of time, but we are still not treated as heterosexual couples. It is so sad that we as gay Americans still have very few rights, and our relationships are not treated with respect.
On a brighter note, my friend who I thought wasn't ready for the program texted me that she wanted to go to a meeting. So far, we have attended one AA meeting, and one Crystal Meth Anonymous meeting. As long as they are still breathing there is hope. And, as long as I have hope then I can do whatever it takes to help her get clean and sober.