Tonight is Halloween. I love this holiday! In my distorted mind it seems normal to see people dressed up in fictional characters. I went to Dykea today to buy a small, cheap couch, and the employees were all dressed in costume. All I did was smile as the witches, warlocks, and pirates walked around the store. Wouldn't it be a cooler planet if there were a variety of beings that lived here?

Over the last week I have suffered through some disappoints. Nothing life threatening, or event changing; I just didn't get what I wanted. After a number of these disappointments, I had to look at myself, and figure out why I was unhappy. It was apparent that I had very high expectations of how certain people in my life should behave, and when they didn't follow my script I was disappointed. My outlook improved when I let go of these expectations, and just let people live their own lives.

Happy Halloween everyone.

I had a wonderful birthday weekend. I couldn't ask for a better time, gifts, or better company. I had a blast dancing, and shopping throughout the weekend. On Sunday I made it to Lush, and should have enough soap to last for several months. While I was up there I had the opportunity to have lunch with Sober Chick. We talked for hours sharing our experiences and talking about sobriety. It was such a pleasure getting to know someone from the blog sphere in 3D.

Seems all my good fortune was spent on the weekend. I started tearing off the siding on the northern side of my house when I discovered a concrete curb right on the siding. I wouldn't be able to replace the studs that were damaged if the curb remained, so I grabbed the sledge hammer and started breaking the concrete apart. To make a boring story short, or at least shorter, I jarred the old water pipes that led into the pool room, and sprung two separate leaks.

These pipes are old, multi-colored with flakes of corrosion falling off everywhere. I shut the water off and started with the modified version of the Serenity Prayer. "Oh my God, grant me the patience to fix this mess". Then I went to Homo Depot and picked up all the necessary parts, and equipment to put the waterline back together.

By sundown I couldn't get the solder to stick to the old 3/4" pipe and I desperately needed to take a shower so I wrapped, and taped the pipe, and used roofing shingles to direct the water out of the house. After the shower I promptly turned off the water and it remained that way till the following day.

After several failed attempts, I finally figured out that the old water line had to be perfectly filed, and sanded so that all the visible imperfections were erased. I filed and sanded for hours till it was time to solder. Soldering the couplings took about 30 seconds each. If one of the joints didn't take I would have to start all over again. And, I did several times.

Then, success arrived, and not a moment too soon. It was time to go dancing.

Laelia caulescens

I went to my Mycological Society meeting tonight. I was a bit worried about going since it was an activity that my ex and I use to do together. She got me interested in mushroom hunting, and I needed to go and renew my membership without her attached to it.

It turned out to be a good experience. There was a raffle, and I bought 5 tickets. The first item I won was a bag of Hot & Spicy, Shiitake Mushroom Primal Strips. They are meatless jerky made from mushrooms. Then, I won a wonderful book, Mushrooms of North America, by Roger Philips (I hope my blog doesn't come up in Google searches....). It has over 1000 color photographs, and very detailed descriptions of mushrooms. I am so happy I won this book - my ex took all her mushroom books with her when she left. Now, I might be able to understand all these brainiacs when they talk to me.

My belly button birthday is coming at the end of the week (stay tuned, my AA birthday is next month). I have planned a wide variety of activities to keep me busy. I figured I would be without any interesting dates, but to my surprise, a woman is taking me out for a Sushi dinner. Then we will be going dancing. She loves to dance, and more importantly, she loves to dance with me.

This weekend, I am going to drive over to the Lush store, and buy some soap. Did I ever mention that I am a total soap whore? Well, I am. After I am done shopping I am going to meet with another fellow blogger for coffee. It is a weekend I am looking forward to.

Guess it ain't so bad being single..........

Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. She has been gone for 9 years now. It seems like yesterday. I can't say it's getting easier dealing with her departure, but I am surviving. My brother was such a dork that he would never remember her on her birthday, or Mother's Day. There were many times he was totally thoughtless on Christmas. It hurt her a great deal, so I tried to make those days extra special for her. I would buy her lots of presents and wrap them individually so she had lots of gifts to open. In turn, she would do the same for me.

To celebrate her birthday these days, I buy myself a special gift. This year I bought hummingbird feeders. I splurged and bought five of them. Two were very expensive hand blown glass feeders with fancy hooks. They were just beautiful, but they dripped sugar water all over the deck. I spent the afternoon puttering with hanging them in the best locations so I can enjoy the humming birds whether I am outside, or in. I'm not quite sure how to advertise to get visitors.....

In sobriety, I try to substitute healthy behaviors for unhealthy ones, or loving gestures to get me through tremendous loss. What changes have you made to make your passage through hard times easier?

I haven't written anything this last week cause I can't think of anything important to say. It is rare for me to be speechless. After the roof was installed, I felt I could relax a bit, and do some serious playing. I did what I do best - I over-booked this past week, and exhausted myself. Part of me just wants to go find a cave, crawl in, and rest for a bit.

I met some new, interesting women recently. They love to dance, but more importantly, they love to dance with me. That is a big change from my last girlfriend. She was trained as a dancer, but when it came to dancing with me, she preferred not to. It was a sad situation that we could never resolve.

I still miss my ex, but I can quickly let go, and focus my attention on something else. I am slowly getting back to who I really am, and who I was before the relationship started unraveling, and becoming unhealthy. I am grateful for the program, and all the different people who belong to it. The program has given me a way to get back on track, and live a healthier life. All I need to do is have the desire to do the footwork.